There
are a lot of scary things in life, aren’t there? And they usually start with a
sensation of fear. Although we sense the
fright in such a feeling, it can really be terrifying when it turns into
thinking about something unknown. This
kind of “thought”, the one we don’t like to hear as older adults, is usually,
“I don’t have much time left to…” Such a
notion comes to me, for example, while I’m enjoying the young trees my wife and
I have planted in our yard and entryway, and I imagine seeing them almost fully
grown, but my presence isn’t there. I
wonder what might happen if I or others attempted to investigate such thoughts
instead of reacting to them by retreating from their shadowy presence.
Perhaps, contemplating the statement, “I
don’t have much time left to…,” that is, concentrating and holding it under a
laser-like gaze of mindfulness might be quite surprising and helpful. Just being patient, it would lead us into the
sensation of fear from which we usually flee.
Once there, this is the part where we would really need the ability of
equanimity to stay put, steadfastly observing the sensations, thoughts, and
emotions that arise and pass away. If
we’re fortunate, our patience might pay off, for as fear dissolves, we could
find ourselves opening to and becoming one with a natural spaciousness,
experiencing a clarity that is crystal clear.
As we linger, we could abide in awareness, one that may offer insights,
such as learning that immense joy is possible within each moment in nature,
like being one with those trees and plants that humans love so much. Insights might come as though they’re
specifically designed for us. We would
realize we can make this journey of contemplation as often as we like, that our
fear of not having enough time left to enjoy the things we love in nature or
with other parts of our lives dissolves, and that what we have is sufficient,
even if it’s a small while. It may even
be that some call the final stage in
aging, appreciation, becomes a living reality.
Investigating
fearful thoughts, such as “I don’t have much time left to…”, by contemplating
and following them to their core is transformative. It’s amazingly helpful as it resolves many of
the difficulties we perceive and face in daily living. Finding that we can study such feelings while
we’re in nature or wherever we are, not just on a cushion, we experience
gratitude for what we have in each moment and let it go. And in doing so, we may find that letting go
of our final moment in this life is one filled with satisfaction and
unconditional love. Why not?
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