It’s not uncommon to
experience a negative reaction to what we encounter in the different
environments we frequent today. The list
is not small: noise, difficult relationships, litter on the streets, smog,
contaminated waterways, crime, traffic jams, greenhouse gas, orbiting space
debris, and more. Even conversations
with friends and family are flooded with the ecological issues that set us
off. Yet little is spoken about how to
turn these upsetting experiences into assets that bolster personal equanimity,
the leadership characteristic that helps us to resolve and make peace with what
we face.
Some will ask, “What is
equanimity, and why is it so important?”
Others may assume they know what it is, choose to ignore it, and deal
with life unconsciously. The Macmillan
English dictionary tells us the word “equanimity” means a calm mental state
when you deal with difficult situations.
That reminds me of the saying, “let cooler heads prevail.” If we check Wikipedia, we find that
equanimity was shared by the Buddha as one of the seven enlightenment factors,
meaning not being lustful or adverse to life events. Also, as a former management instructor, I’ve
heard experienced students agree that it’s necessary to have leaders who demonstrate
and use equanimity in making important decisions and taking action.
Obviously, this
individual quality is one of the most important resources for humans to have
and manage. If we use it intelligently,
we maintain our sanity and realize greater peace, for the more equanimity we
have, the fewer problems we have because we’re not reacting, we’re responding
in a balanced way in making and carrying out wise decisions. People appreciate and rally around such
behavior. Its inherent wisdom and compassion
are contagious. Life is better for
everyone, and we may even live longer.
The problem, however,
is maintaining and applying equanimity during the difficult and disturbing
situations we encounter. For example, what
do we do when we’re standing in the checkout line at Walmart after a long day,
and the children in front of us are screaming and crying; we’re stuck in a
traffic jam in places like San Francisco, Mexico City, or London; we find trash
in our neighborhood or on our front lawn; we see the news about the destruction
of natural resources; we run into trouble with economical failure, giving care
to those we love, or consoling our best friend who has just lost his or her
job? These are but a few of the situations
that give us pause to look inside ourselves and use equanimity to cope with
what is in front of us. Of course, some
will say, “Yeah, right….but how?”
This is a difficult
question to answer. While I profess to
be a lifelong student of equanimity, I know that the best experts in this field
are not always successful. Even an old
and seemingly unshakable Zen monk kicked the dog that had peed on him when he
thought no one was around to see. As
humans, we’re not infallible. Here are a
few tips, however, that I’ve found useful over the years:
a. First, realize that equanimity, while mental,
is a very feeling-based activity. So,
men, get out of your heads and into your feelings.
b. Understand
that the situation confronting you is causing an unpleasant sensation to arise
somewhere in your body. It could be in
your abdomen, your stomach, your heart area, your back. Find it, focus on it, understand that it’s
out of balance, and stay with it until it regains a neutral feeling. (For very difficult situations, we do need to
realize that it may take more than just a little while to calm down. Don’t be afraid to ask for psychological help
when it’s something that doesn’t seem to change with practice.)
c. Make
a decision and take action when you feel balanced. Sometimes focusing on the feeling and
allowing it to become tranquil by itself is the only thing you need to do. On the other hand, if it’s an emergency
situation, you may have to do the best you can before you regain complete
stability. In that case, after the
situation is over with, return and focus on the feeling of stress in your body
until it’s neutral again.
d. As
you successfully “keep your cool” by concentrating on the unpleasant feeling,
regaining your equanimity, and taking action with each life event, you’ll find that
such practice will make you stronger and more self-confident.
e. Finally,
if you wish to really enhance your capability to use equanimity, enroll in a
mindfulness course and look at www.mindful.org
for more advice and assistance.
Maintaining equanimity
in the face of need is one of our best resources. Instead of “going bananas” and creating
chaos, we can help ourselves and others.
Practicing the small technique I’ve given above, or those we learn in
classes and professional settings, can inspire more of us to take a hand in
resolving ecological problems at the individual, family, community, state,
national, and/or international levels.
Strong, personal
equanimity spirits innovations that help countless beings, especially those
living in the natural habitats around us.
Why not consciously reinforce and
use this valuable resource as wisely as you can every day, beginning with
yourself and then with others? It’s
free.
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