Saturday, December 8, 2012

You *#*#*# Blankety Blank!

A lot of people, especially men, explode either silently or out loud when they experience conflicts at work or in personal life with other people.  Although we understand that much of our happiness comes from relationships, we are also confused or ignorant as to why we connect them to so much of the discontent we feel.  For example, when we are motivated by fear, anger, or disappointment, we frequently center on whom we can point the finger at or how to make things right.   We’re probably not aware of the expectations we have (the ones we want others to satisfy) that make us so unhappy.  According to Ezra Bayda, Beyond Happiness, The Zen Way to True Contentment, we can find out what these hopes or beliefs are by asking the simple question, “How is he or she (are they) supposed to be?”  The answers lead us deeply inside of ourselves to what is blocking our happiness.  If we’re patient, the wisdom that arises from such contemplation shows us that the difficulties we have with people are the precise avenue to peace and contentment, in that they drive us more profoundly into life, to work with what causes us so much grief.  Personally, I wish I’d known how to do this long ago; however, I also understand that it’s never too late to begin, is it?